


when your mind's made up

by girljustdied



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-10-04 20:05:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17310995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girljustdied/pseuds/girljustdied
Summary: the summer has been nothing but hands afraid to touch each other.





	when your mind's made up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mollivanders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollivanders/gifts).



> pre "normal is the watchword."  
> prompt was "doubt is a strong motivator."

The sound of waves on the shore roar in her ears. There’s nothing else. Not her sounds, or his. The night is hot and the air thick with moisture. She is not sure she wants to do this.

“Look, you know I’ve never been one to pass up a good time,” the words are glib but his voice is muted by apprehension. “But if you want to wait—”

“Shut up,” she groans, and slips a hand inside his jeans.

She is slow and he grits his teeth, head canted back into the sand.

“Veronica,” he starts again, as if he still plans to stop this. As if his palms weren’t skimming roughly up her sides under her thin t-shirt, thumbs on the underside of her breasts.

She panics, snaps, “Stop.”

And he does, arms stiffening before falling to rest on her knees as his strained breaths ease considerably. He’s relieved, eyes closed and still beneath her. So is she.

The summer has been nothing but this. Hands too afraid to touch each other and transparent jokes about gun-toting fathers—as if Logan’s own father hadn’t murdered their dearest friend, and had almost done the same to her. As if Logan—

Hysteria in their laughter and in their sighs and now vibrating unbidden at the edges of her vision.

Enough.

She stands to tug off her shorts and underwear before kneeling down into a straddle over his thighs again. His eyes snap open at her fingers on his zipper, gaze narrowing as he tries to study her face in the dark. Reaches up to hold onto her forearms lightly, as if sensing the feral edge of her actions.

She startles at the contact, “Stop.”

He lets go. Bites his lip and watches her sink down around him with a soft cry. She cannot hear the sound of it, but she can feel the tightness in her chest the noise forced itself through. Can feel the pitch of it in the roof of her mouth.

“Are you okay?” he rasps.

It doesn’t hurt. It shouldn’t be a shock. But when he leans up to grasp her face with both hands and kiss her, she grips his wrists in tight fists and shoves them back down into the sand near his head, heart hammering painful and fast.

“Don’t touch me,” her eyes sting, “just don’t touch me, okay?” She pistons above him at a faster pace than she’d intended, her body already close. “Just don’t touch me.”

He nods, hips moving to meet hers and nothing else, following her lead. He stays in place when she lets go. She watches his chest heave and the muscles in his jaw twitch until she cannot anymore. The backs of his hands sink further into the earth.

It’s not her first orgasm, or her best. It’s not her first anything. Head canted back she sees stars in the sky. When she closes her eyes, stars. The sand beneath her knees is damp and grimy. It’s over barely before she knows it’s happening. He breathes her name in an urgent way, hands on her hips trying to get her up off him—

Oh.

She pulls away and lands roughly on her back next to him on the beach. It knocks the wind out of her. Watches him take his dick in hand and finish through a heavy, lidded gaze, unable to see everything clearly but wanting to desperately.

It takes a while for her heartbeat to find a regular, steady rhythm, breathing in time with the waves washing in and out again. It takes even longer to get the nerve to glance over at Logan. The continued silence is unsettling. That, and the way his focus slides from her to the stars above and does not return.

“That bad, huh?” she goes for light.

One arm slung over his forehead, “Well. Other than feeling like you just used me as a human dildo, it was fantastic.”

She laughs, but that edge between them has eroded. It’s just a laugh. Turns on her side to face him and watches Logan sense her movements in the lines of his body. He finally mirrors her with a sigh, head held up by his palm.

“It wasn’t like that.” It’s difficult to be honest with him in this way. It’s difficult with everyone. “That was my first time. Got a little freaked out, sue me.”

He frowns, looks like he wants to say something but ends up just murmuring her name again like it’s all he can say. “Veronica.” Shakes his head.

“First time I wanted to,” she amends. There are grains of sand in her mouth when she tries to swallow. “First time it was my choice.”

“Disappointed it was me?” He is asking he her to hurt him.

“I didn’t imagine it would be you, if that’s what you mean. You were never doodled in my notebooks in red ink or rescuing me atop a unicorn in my fantasies.”

His smile is sour. “Well, maybe if you’d ever let me rescue you.”

She reaches behind her, fingertips searching for her discarded clothes for a few strained seconds before locating them. Does not look at Logan again until she’s dressed and on her feet, arms crossed over her chest. He’s readjusted his clothes, is leaning back on his elbows, and in that moment, she cannot stand the sullen lines of his face. “I wish you’d grow up, Logan.”

“No, you wish I was someone else.” Head cocked, he takes in her reaction. “Maybe you wish you were someone else, too. You know, I do remember your doodles. ‘Mr. and Mrs. Duncan Kane.’ Enough to make your teeth rot, Ronnie.”

“You really think that I would have done that with—” she huffs with irritation at the way she avoids the words and begins again – “You really think that I would have had sex with you if I didn’t want to?”

“I don’t know,” he looks down at his hand on the ground by his hip, shifts sand through his fingers. “Would you?”

She doubts he hears her muttered “no” over the tide now almost at her feet.

  



End file.
